Monday, August 25, 2008

Harlequin I

"Opo, andiyan na po!" Brian snapped at his dad as he locked his cell phone's keypad. Maria's text message kept on repeating itself in his head as he went back to the kitchen.

"No more kisses? No more hugs? Oh yes you've changed. I think sumthng is terribly wrong w/ me. Evry guy i've been w/ seems 2 get cold as months pass by. Where could i've gone wrong? :'("

Clanking glasses, echoing laughter, constant blaberring, running children, and barking mutts filled tito Jun's house as he celebrated his 55th with family and friends. Brian, as usual, was in the kitchen cleaning after the guests' clutter. He let out a sigh as he absent-mindedly put liquid hand soap on the dishes.

"Tsk!" Been wanting to scream, Brian threw the dishwashing sponge in his hands at the sink and stared at it with disgust. He backed away a bit to look at his mess when arms were thrown around his neck.

"Brian, for the love of God, rescue me from this klumpen!" It was Eoni, his cousin. She was trying to get away from TJ's relentless inquiries. She clutched Brian's wet hands and demanded to know:

"Brian, what are you going to do about Maria? I heard tito Jun doesn't like her. God in heaven! Such a waste! I don't like women, though I am one, but she's one of the good ones. Listen schatz! We all go sour and get wrinkles! Don't waste your good years. Don't waste hers either!"

Removing his hands from hers, Brian answered in monotone, "Eoni, nag-usap na kami. Hindi ko siya bibitawan! Pinaglaban ko siya at ipaglalaban ko pa rin!"

Breaking with a sigh, Brian added, "Kaso, she says she wants time and space. Tsk."

Eoni almost hit him but resolved to calmer words, "Brian you're a bigger klumpen! No woman wants time. Without a man, she doesn't know what to do with it. Look at Karl! He’s too fat, too old and one day he’ll drop dead on the way to the office – but I love him. When he goes, I’ll shrink up like a winter apple.”

A faint smile appeared on Brian’s face. Not able to hold her annoyance, Eoni hit Brian on the forehead with a spatula and exclaimed, “Now go and tell her! Don’t ask. Just say ‘Now or never!’ And if she argues, tell her how much you love her truly.”

Scratching his forehead where the spatula left a mark, Brian let out a sheepish grin and said, “Bukas na lang po, huhugas pa ko mga pinggan eh.”

Eoni finally rolled her eyes and left Brian with two spatula marks on his forehead.

…to be continued,

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Sabbath Day For A Sinner

In a trance,

it's so easy to lose one's self.

And in my darkest moment,

I am weak.

My strength has been drained by

your seething and suckling mouth.

Today, I find peace within the emptiness.

Today, I give in.

After all,

it's a Sabbath day for a sinner.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

The Pieces Fit

Many are lost for want of asking.

I have absolutely no regrets for whatsoever mistakes I did in the past. They all taught me how to make things right this time around.

If many were lost for want of asking, then words will never be enough. How things are at the moment were all concocted by Him with purpose - and that's to prepare my heart for something BIGGER.

Soon...

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Dis-Ability

A discreet beep awakened my hunger earlier...

"Baby, no pls don't think of yourself that badly..."

How can I not? Stressors have been piling up my ass for weeks now! Just last week, I was in this interview where I almost cried because I haven't had my lunch yet. WTF. I'm not into any sort of trouble but heck, starving myself for lack of money is something new!

So what are stressors?

Stressors are events or a single major event in a person's life which triggers uncontrollable behaviors for people with panic and anxiety disorders. The behaviors amongst anxiety disorder and panic attack sufferers include include racing heart, hyperventilation or breathing difficulties, as well as chest pain, nausea or dizziness, headaches, shaking and trembling, and many more to name a few.

Hays, I wish I can let you see more of what makes me this way. You see, it's not easy. Who ever said it's gonna be? It's one heck of a ride and it does scare me a lot but what can I do? I hate it! Sometimes, I'd catch myself walking in circles just to calm myself. *sigh*

What's worse, I am on the verge of hurting (emotionally) James and my family. I just effin hate it! It's so frustrating. I never ever wanted to hurt them in any way but it is just so effin hard to keep myself from doing so. I hate this effin ability.

So I guess you're right, I'm one crazy ass bitch.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Punctual As Death

You see me come,

You see me go.

Soon...

Monday, August 4, 2008

Bata! Bata!

Sa batang muling nagpatibok ng puso ko, maraming maraming salamat po sa mga ngiti mo! Wapi fourth! Habidey satin! Habiferst sa wakas! Madami pang dadating at kahit nasa ospital ka ngayon, masaya pa rin dahil mas pinili ng Panginoon na manatili ka sa mundong ito.