Call Me Hypochondriac, But My Childhood Is Over

"Childhood's over the moment you know you're gonna die." - Top Dollar (The Crow, 1994)

Now I'm more scared than ever.

I struggled to read the latest news online earlier. I was too scared to read. A misjudged blast in Glorietta 2 in Makati City killed 4 people (and its increasing by the minute). F*ck. That's right beside Park Square 2 Terminal where I take my ride home everyday. It felt like Death reminded me about something...

I voluntarily took absence from my visits to the doctor. I am bleeding inside. I have a polyp somewhere in me. I was scheduled for biopsy a few months back but the medical pre-requisites were just too overwhelming. The initial tests were like death itself! I am so f*cked up. My hands are cold right now. The biopsy result would tell me where the polyp is situated and whether its benign or malignant. I'm praying it hasn't metastized yet.

I was still kind of well when I took my absence. But things are getting out of hand lately. Symptoms are making themselves obvious once again. I know, I'm one stubborn ass. I promised myself I'll be back by November. October is not yet over and then this blast happened.

"Oh i, oh, Im still alive
Hey, i, i, oh, Im still alive
Hey i, oh, Im still alive
Hey...oh..."

Pearl Jam sings Alive on my media player. What a coincidence. BS

I could've been one of those people who died. YES, thank God I am still ALIVE.

Fix Me Up

It gets crazy. Life does, I meant.

At work today, my instant messenger's status message tries to estimate the after-hitting-my-head-on-the-pavement effect of my life for the past 3 months: Sunshine burns if you get too much.

Don't get me wrong but I'm happy with the new guy. Damn, I am! Work is doing great too! The thing is, miniscule (I wish) details are starting to fall apart in my life as I try to build something else. *sigh*

One day am so happy then so sad the next. Wtf is happening?! I wanted to remind myself its all too normal to go through such stuff. Is it?

Despite being sick, despite having to send two siblings to school, despite having to pay bills, despite having to socially serve a fourth of my collegiate alma mater, despite having to prepare for the monster-in-law's imminent arrival, despite losing in two court battles over some land dispute and business venture, despite losing a bestfriend because he's being such a jerk *ugh*, despite being heartbroken for having to overcome such responsibilities -

directly or indirectly, I have to face everything with the grace of an adult... not with the grief of a child.

Hum Along

I woke up late earlier and thus, I was prompted to hurry and prepare myself for work. I hopped on the bus and sat beside an old couple when I noticed the somewhat middle-aged lady was clapping. I wondered why. I looked up at the mounted television. Oh so that was why, The Beatles was on Hey Jude mode. Most of the passengers were head-bobbing, humming, singing, or foot-thumping along. Nice.

I have nothing against the music. In fact, I love 'em.

The truth is, my heart has its roots on the 60s and 70s. Going way back to when my dad witnessed a lot of rebellion and his generation started to put it into lyrics. Add in some instruments and they ended up with The Beatles, Eagles, Scorpions, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, Simon & Garfunkel, and all those bands to whom I pay homage to.

I was born in the 80s and yet I grew up listening to them. It just feels different listening to them. I put one track on and close my eyes. Sh*t. Raw. Maybe because as a child, I used to listen to my dad playing songs from that era with his guitar. Ged, I miss those days. On weekends, may dad would play the guitar in the living room. With a songbook on a table, a pair of reading glasses on his eyes, tatay would play and sing. The whole house would go silent. I'll be in my room just listening. It felt as if the world stopped.

So this reminds me of Megan:
"My comeback kids wish list: RATM, Soundgarden, Stone Temple Pilots, A Perfect Circle (band's in limbo I think), The Cure, and The Smiths. And if bringing back people from the dead is possible, I would include in the list Nirvana, Alice in Chains, Jeff Buckley, and The Doors." -chuvaofthechenes

I am entirely at awe at how the Philippine music industry has put itself into a higher level this past year due to the seemingly unending arrival of new bands. And yet, my ears still hunger for how the bands of the 90's satiated me. It should come no wonder, the bands of the 90s inspired a lot of bands that are currently making it into the mainstream.

Oh, I wouldn't mind mentioning a few local bands from the 90s: Razorback and Wolfgang, where are you now?! Lokomotiv? Nah. We'll see.

Dual Pretense

"Want to feel extreme happiness? Be mine."

So...
what would you do
if your bestfriend suddenly tells you
he likes you
and that,
you'll be happier
if you were to be his?

*at wits end* OMG OMG OMG WTF

N-Cash Launched

N-Cash Launched

NATCCO marked yet another record in business history. N-Cash, or National Cash Card program, a project of the National Confederation of Cooperatives (NATCCO) in coordination with the government-owned Development Bank of the Philippines (DBP) and Sen. Juan Miguel Zubiri, was launched on September 4, 2007, Tuesday at the Asian Institute of Management (AIM) in Makati.

N-Cash is a cash card issued by NATCCO which can be used for "Card-to-Card' remittance, prepaid cell phone loading and bills payment. Overseas Filipino workers (OFWs) may even complete a transaction just by sending a text message.

What's more, OFWs can now remit at a charge of only $1. This is a huge development in the country's remittance system as the usual $27 remittance fee is highly reduced.

According to financial reports, Filipino workers sent $12.8 billion to their families in the Philippines last year alone. It had cost OFWs $1.7 billion in transaction fees to bring in the $12.8 billion based on the current prevailing 13.5 percent remittance fee. But through the use of N-Cash, the $12.8 billion remitted last year will now cost only $64 million thus saving Filipino workers of up to $1.663 billion.

To implement the N-Cash program, NATCCO signed a cooperation agreement with i-Payment Solutions, Inc., or simply i-Pay, as its technology partner. The agreement allows NATCCO to use the payment platform designed and developed by i-Pay to offer to its cooperatives members and other individuals for their basic financial needs. All of which are more easy and convenient to use.

Dev(il) Team

I know, this is overdue.

Friday, August 31, 2007. I received an email from the admin that there will be a general staff meeting on September 3, 2007, Monday at 4:30 in the afternoon. From the looks of the letter, it seemed the upcoming meeting is serious compared to the previous ones which were always dominated with jokes from the Development Team. Honestly, all the jokes makes the serious stuff bearable so I guess it's all ok with Sir Maner - our boss, Ms. Debi - our project manager, and Mac - our over-all team lead and Chief Technology Officer.

Weekend passed and Monday came. I was thinking, this meeting will be as fun again as the others before. But I noticed sir Maner got a bit fidgety as the hours passed. I was proving myself wrong. Before 4:30pm, everyone from the Marketing Team in Ayala arrived. Whoa!

So this meeting is serious eh? I told myself.

From experience, this sort of meeting conjures ideas such as lay-off or time cut-off cause the company can't bear the expenses anymore. Can't blame 'em! Marketing Team alone costs the company of up to 500K Pesos in payroll alone. That doesn't include their traveling expenses to various countries where we operate. Sheesh.

Moving on, the meeting proved to be serious. Major! Sir Con, sir Maner's Australian business partner, did all the talking. Sir Maner refused to speak. The agenda? Rechargeplus Int'l. Ltd. and i-Payment Solutions, Inc. representatives met with president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo and NATCCO (National Confederation of Cooperatives) last Friday, August 31 to close a deal regarding N-Cash, a program that will save our beloved OFWs just some $1.663 billion in remittance fees. The details are all too "detailed". I'll just inform you about it in a separate blog.

I guess that's about it. Ahaha!

Much credit has been said to the Marketing Team (Rechargeplus) but I heard nothing for my colleagues at the Development Team (i-Pay), or should I say the Dev(il) Team as most of the mrktg. team suggests? On the contrary, they're a bunch of angels out here to save the Philippine remittance system. Hats off to them!

To name 'em who worked for the said project:
Cesar Valencia
Cyril Estremera
Debi Santos
Francis Marasigan
Leo Acera
Mac Soriano and sir Maner Puyawan (of course!)
Marky Tiangco
Marlon Puyawan
Marvynn Kimpay
Mimi Ibisate and
Ryan Amog

no ass-kissing intended *wink*

If Nature Had Its Way

as inspired by Carl Campbell (DIC's Thorian)

I haven't been to the doctor for sometime now. I just got exhausted of going back and forth. It literally drained the life outta me. Last time I did, the doctors said me red blood cell count is dropping! Damn.

I still have no idea what's wrong with me. I'm hoping for the worse so I won't be disappointed. Then again, I'm reminded of the people I'd be leaving behind. Living is just the worst job.

What makes me re-evaluate my ideas is when I lit a cigarette (I know, its bad and yet I can't get rid of it) at night before preparing for bed. I stare at the star-strewn sky and thank God for giving me another day. It calms me… just staring at the sky or just by watching our two dogs lick each other’s balls. Hee hee

Nature has its own way of showing us how wonderful life can be. If only we could take the time to look, stop and listen.